To Pinni

Listen kid,

There are a few things I need to tell you. It's not like it can't wait, but life's been good to me of late and I'd much rather talk to you when the going's good. Life's too beautiful to be talked about in any other way. You're almost 17 now and that was a hard age for me. Seeing how you look up to me so much, I can pretty much tell how you must be feeling right now.

First off kid I'd wanna say I'm sorry. It hurts me more than you can imagine. I want to be there for you now more than anything else. But I can't. And life's like that sometimes darling. You don't always get what you want. Shit happens, what can I say?

Maybe I started on a sombre note, but I wanna say I love you kid. More than my heart can take.

Before you start getting all sentimental, let's get right down to the good stuff. I'm so excited for you kid. I feel like I'm gonna get to live all those golden years all over again through you. I know it sounds all preachy and cliched, but you're my star and I'm gonna live vicariously through you, yes at age 20 I'm a fuckin dad. How cool is that?

To quote steely dan... "Your everlasting summer you can see it fading fast, so you grab a piece of something you think is gonna last." So I'm grabbing hold of you kid. Live life, and live it like I did kid. Right up to the hilt. By the way, start listen to jazz seriously, ditch tripping on floyd. This shit is where its at! You'll know what I'm saying soon enough.

But now I'm gonna be very generic kid. Cuz that's all I can be when I'm telling you stuff like this. The specifics of 17-18-19 just kills the experience so just go out there and have yourself a ball. But please please please kid, never ever ever forget your priorities. Study hard kid, your marks definitely arent a sign of your intelligence, but it sure as hell tells another person about your ability to take shit when its thrown at you.

Sure you'll have ups and downs, sure you'll feel like shit sometimes, you may even get to the point of feeling pointless and suicidal. But I'll tell you this kid. It gets better, much much better. You're too much of a toughie for things to go the other way. Whatever happens at home with mom and dad or with your acads or with men, it'll get better.

Speaking of men. I'd like to tell you to stay the hell away from our slimy race but all I can say is be careful kid. Be smart about how you deal with em. Heck I know you will, but its my job to tell ya anyway. And if anybody ever hurts you, you know I'm just a call away and I'll kick the shit out of the asshole!

All said and done kid, I just wrote this to tell you that I'll always always always be there for you pinni. Watching with the proudest smile I can muster. I know you'll go far. It's just a matter of time before you realize the same thing. I'll tell you more to make you cry when I see you next.

Take care of yourself kid. You know I love you.